What Do I Really Want?

This one will be short. I want to share what is really on my mind. It has been for the last week. What do I really want? What do I really desire? I am really asking myself "what do I really want in life?" Now, I can rattle off to you a good list of "the right answers", but is that really what I want? I find myself asking this question fairly frequently. A little introspection to get me back on track when I find I am hitting a wall. I wish I could say I consistently come up with the same answers, but honesty has helped me to see I really want a lot of things that don't really matter. I love turning to the scriptures whenever I plateau and get stuck. I thought of an interesting exchange this morning. One that helped me refocus. In 1 Nephi 11 we read of an interesting account. Nephi was thinking about the teachings of his dad. His dad talked a lot about Jesus Christ and even shared a remarkable vision with him. Parenthetically I will add, developing a relationship with God is probably the most important thing. It fits first in that list of "the right answers". In fact it is life eternal to know God and Jesus Christ whom He sent (John 17:3 - paraphrased). The Spirit of the Lord asks Nephi "Behold, what desirest thou?" In other words, what do you really want? Nephi responds "I desire to behold the things which my father saw". A really great vision then unfolds and Nephi sees a whole ton of really great stuff. I'll confess, I hadn't really seen much significance in those few verses until today. This morning, it clicked. All Nephi really desired, all he really wanted, was a personal conviction and witness of Jesus Christ. He wanted to have that same witness and testimony that Jesus Christ really was the Son of God, the Savior and Redeemer of the world. That is what he really wanted. I am sure popularity, and a million other distractions, were just as prevalent in his day, but he really wanted to know more about Jesus Christ. His prayer was answered. I am finding when I really want to know my Heavenly Father, then I actually start coming unto Him. I actually start putting forth the effort to know Him. I pray more sincerely. I study with greater purpose and direction. I have my struggles and find myself going back to doing dumb things, wasting time, but focusing back on Him helps me pull out of it. I am wanting to change my desires. This comes through consistently repenting and feeling the sanctification of the Holy Ghost (the good feelings you get that make you want to be a better person). I'll be real with you, I find myself getting distracted at times, but focusing back on Him really does bring purpose, direction, and happiness into my life. Hope this week finds you well. Look forward to more of my random thoughts next week!!

To The Rescue

Monday. Preparation day in missionary life. 8 hrs to take care of everything for the week. If you are anything like me, then you do all your stuff (e-mailing, shopping, laundry) as fast as possible so you can spend more time playing sports. Trust me, we get as much physical activity in as we can on Mondays. We usually play Basketball for at least 3 hours. Today was different. We were going mountain biking. I literally had been counting down for this day all last week.

We got out to Beaver Dam and got ready for a good time. For a few, it was their first time. Biked a few trails and gauged the skill and stamina of the group. We all road together most of the day and concluded with about 2 hours left in our preparation day. Wanting to hit up a particularly fun part of the course, and recognizing not all would be up to this challenge, six of us made the executive decision to split up from the group. The others would slowly follow after and we'd all rendezvous at the trail head. We biked down the trail at an accelerated rate to hit the "Drop Zone". It was awesome! It is a sub-loop (1/2 mile) within the western loop (approx. 8 miles) with a few good drops. I totally pysched myself out and skipped the first drop, but committed to the next 3. Nailed 'em. It was such a good way to end our day. Sweaty, thirsty, tired and fully satisfied; we were ready to head back home. We came full circle to the trail head only to find the other bikers were nowhere in sight.... We concluded with the slower rate of the group, they probably hadn't made it this far yet. We biked back up the trail only to find they weren't waiting at the road. We checked back at the cars. Nowhere. It now being well past the time for all of us to head back, there was only one other possible conclusion; they must have continued on past the loop.

Figuring by this time they were out of water, President Bernhisel asked if another Elder and I would bike the trail backwards until we found them and he would commence the normal way. We rode hard for a good 45 minutes. I'll confess, my energy was spent. Many times thoughts of going back crossed my mind, but I suppressed that desire with thoughts of getting water to the missionaries out there on the trail. I was reminded of those early pioneers who went out to rescue the saints perishing with starvation on the plains. Realizing the pioneers situation was one of life or death, and ours a mere difference of a little dehydration and fatigue, we peddled on. Soon we happened upon the first group. Two Elders, one was my companion, were in good spirits, but very exhausted. We gave them some water. They thanked us and we said a prayer together. It was abundantly obvious this was the motivation they need to continue biking hard. They left us and we biked towards the next group. I was starting to get a headache, and yet we knew we needed to continue on. We finally got to the other Elders. We shared what little water we had and said prayers with them too. We were joyed to know all were accounted for. We came back with the last group. One Elder was so tired. Drained. For him, every step was a valiant effort. The others soon left us, we didn't want to slow them down. I knew I couldn't carry him. It wasn't practical. Only thoughts of finishing and resting, returning to the group and not giving up could motivate him back. Energy spent, we finally made it to the road. We were welcomed back by cheers and Gatorades. It was so worth it seeing everyone together again.

This life parallels my experience in so many ways. Many are struggling on different "paths" in this life. Tired. Discouraged. In need of a little relief. They need our help. We are blessed with the opportunities to ride to their aid. To administer relief through being a friend. Isn't that why Christ suffered for us? He suffered all things that He might know how to succor (provide relief) for us in our times of need (Alma 7:11-13). He knows the path. He has walked the path. He is the way, the truth, and the life (John ). Just as the missionaries who felt renewed in spirit when they saw us, I know having His presence in my life motivates and encourages me to become better. I have found my challenges typically aren't taken from me. Usually, I am strengthened and motivated to work harder and push through. These experiences with His love have taught me more about the enabling power of Jesus Christ's atonement. Frequently referred to as "grace" in the scriptures. After feeling the motivation, it can be easy to start taking those first few steps again. After a while; however, it gets hard again. It is the thought of rest, relief, and joy at the end of our journey which give us the hope to keep pushing. Moroni in the 7th chapter of the Book which bears his name teaches: "And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal (living with God), and this because of your faith in him according to the promise." (Moroni 7:41) Sometimes all we have to hold on to is that hope that if we continue to follow Him, things work out. I promise you, they always do. He always comes to our rescue. He always invites us to come unto Him. It is the story of my life and billions of others.