What Do I Really Want?

This one will be short. I want to share what is really on my mind. It has been for the last week. What do I really want? What do I really desire? I am really asking myself "what do I really want in life?" Now, I can rattle off to you a good list of "the right answers", but is that really what I want? I find myself asking this question fairly frequently. A little introspection to get me back on track when I find I am hitting a wall. I wish I could say I consistently come up with the same answers, but honesty has helped me to see I really want a lot of things that don't really matter. I love turning to the scriptures whenever I plateau and get stuck. I thought of an interesting exchange this morning. One that helped me refocus. In 1 Nephi 11 we read of an interesting account. Nephi was thinking about the teachings of his dad. His dad talked a lot about Jesus Christ and even shared a remarkable vision with him. Parenthetically I will add, developing a relationship with God is probably the most important thing. It fits first in that list of "the right answers". In fact it is life eternal to know God and Jesus Christ whom He sent (John 17:3 - paraphrased). The Spirit of the Lord asks Nephi "Behold, what desirest thou?" In other words, what do you really want? Nephi responds "I desire to behold the things which my father saw". A really great vision then unfolds and Nephi sees a whole ton of really great stuff. I'll confess, I hadn't really seen much significance in those few verses until today. This morning, it clicked. All Nephi really desired, all he really wanted, was a personal conviction and witness of Jesus Christ. He wanted to have that same witness and testimony that Jesus Christ really was the Son of God, the Savior and Redeemer of the world. That is what he really wanted. I am sure popularity, and a million other distractions, were just as prevalent in his day, but he really wanted to know more about Jesus Christ. His prayer was answered. I am finding when I really want to know my Heavenly Father, then I actually start coming unto Him. I actually start putting forth the effort to know Him. I pray more sincerely. I study with greater purpose and direction. I have my struggles and find myself going back to doing dumb things, wasting time, but focusing back on Him helps me pull out of it. I am wanting to change my desires. This comes through consistently repenting and feeling the sanctification of the Holy Ghost (the good feelings you get that make you want to be a better person). I'll be real with you, I find myself getting distracted at times, but focusing back on Him really does bring purpose, direction, and happiness into my life. Hope this week finds you well. Look forward to more of my random thoughts next week!!